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Be Prepared to Come Apart posted 26 June 2018

One of the principles we work with throughout the 40 Days course states, “Be prepared to come apart”.  It is a concept relevant at all times, not just as part of the programme.

Being prepared to come apart means to be open to relinquishing the chains of habit.  It means to be open to living your heart’s desire.  It means to be available to experience fulfilment in your life.

 I met a woman in 2010 who had been overweight.  When I met her she still was a bit overweight but had already lost 100 lbs from where she began.

When she was overweight she identified herself with her body and she viewed her body as ugly.  In that state she felt worthless and unlovable and allowed herself to be treated poorly.

Fortunately, the providence of the universe led her to Baptiste style power vinyasa yoga (just as we teach at Apollo Power Yoga).  In class, she initially struggled.  The practices were tough and physically demanding.  She felt out-of-place in the company of leaner, fitter practitioners who were doing the poses “better” than her and doing the fancy extra poses while she was just trying to keep up with the foundations of the practice.

Her spirit was listening, however, and heard the words of her teachers and her fellow students that she was welcome; that she just needed to do her best; that the story in her head that she was not good enough was a lie.  She started to grow in response to the practice.

Little by little her body grew physically stronger.  She became drawn to foods that would fuel her active body rather than comfort foods that would smother her emotional pain temporarily but leave her over-fed and under-nourished.  Her body shape began to change.

Most importantly, the repeated lies she told herself as a matter of habitual, pre-programmed thought lost their hold on her.  Everything she had been telling herself about herself was the exact opposite of what she heard in yoga class.  She had to dismantle her way of thinking and feeling about herself.  She had to unravel years of negative self-image and psychic harm.

She came apart.  There is a Willie Nelson song called Getting Over You with the line, “See how all the pieces fit as you watch them fall apart”.  That was her experience.  As she came apart she was able to regather herself, reinforced with the messages she heard every time she walked in to yoga class.

By the time I met her she was well down the track and was a teacher to me as I was just beginning my own process of coming apart.  She told me of herself: “The lie I give up is that I am my body and I am not beautiful”.  The pain that these lies had caused her in her life was evident.  But she had embraced a new way of being of self-respect, love and possibility.

By coming apart and by dismantling a rigid and habitual pattern of seeing herself she had been able to re-create her experience in the world.  She had freed herself from relationships in which others treated her as she had seen herself – as worthless and undeserving.   She had developed new connections with people who accorded her respect as she now respected herself.

Her example was inspirational to me and I began a process that week in February 2010 when I met her that sparked something new in me.  A year later, Margo and I were at a Baptiste training programme.  In the middle of that week I found myself confronted by the lies I had been habitually telling myself.  For a whole day I collapsed into misery, self-pity and despair.  I felt awful.

But like my friend the year before, I took the message to dismantle the hold of the lie.  I received the lesson to come apart.  I chose to embrace a new way of being.  I saw how the old patterns of thought had determined my perception of myself and had created a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I woke the day after my day of gloom re-defined – no longer by the lie in my head but by the enthusiasm in my spirit.

Coming apart is not pretty and there are challenging moments but taking apart your story of yourself allows you to re-create yourself.  In my case there was no need to change my circumstances at all.  I just needed to re-work the way I perceived myself.

Be prepared to come apart.  It starts with your inner perception.  It may result in changes to your circumstances (work, relationships, where you live etc.) but coming apart is not about external circumstances.

Coming apart is about untying the knots of patterned thought that leave you feeling unwanted or unloved, worthless and of no importance.  Think less, trust your spirit more and know that a new way of being of peace, love and happiness is available to you now.

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